XHOANA X
Inside her Castle while in Quarantine
|
Thank you for joining our HocTok community!
Who is XHOANA X? What are some of her defining characteristics as an artist and how different is Xhoana, the private person compared to XHOANA X, the performer? It's funny how much I see things in terms of music because this made me think of that NIN ‘Me, I’m not’ lyric: “I define myself by how well I hide”. There’s facets of me in all my work, so I can’t hide, yet the work doesn’t define me. |
Photo: courtesy of the artist |
Without getting too deep here. My work is an embellished version of the private me, where I can really explore the shadow side of feelings, emotions, experiences, nostalgia, life. Artistically I’m really moody and adventurous. In real life, I’m still feisty (haha), but I’m way warmer and light: always laughing, exploring, learning and expanding.
How do you define the music you make? What are your own favorite songs?
Hmm, I’d say it's cinematic, moody, downtempo, trip hop with a modern spin... trip hop is one of my favorite genres from the 90s but, now done my way... a lot of night time vibes, for sure.
I don’t have favorite songs, to be honest, whatever I’m working on becomes my favorite until I finish it and then I’m on to write another.
Thanks for sharing with us one of your recent songs titled Castle. Tell us more: maybe the story behind it, how easy or difficult it has been to complete it.
I co-wrote CASTLE with Jim Kaufman, who also produced it. He had written a beautiful, melancholy piano piece years ago and when he started playing it for me the lyrics basically wrote themselves. This happened to be the day before the 3-year anniversary of my father’s passing so the song took shape about the experience of loss of a loved one. The happy memories and the sad ones, all in one.
I decided to release it as we came out of quarantine, because of this tremendous loss so many of us have experienced and have yet to deal with. I thought this would resonate, cuz it did for me. I’m surprised I managed to record vocals without crying because I do get emotional singing/hearing it sometimes.
You can see this in the video visual directed by Chris Hunt, that I recently released. We collaborated bi-coastally on the visual during quarantine. Chris had shot this beautiful footage of a ballerina a few years back that he hadn't used on a personal project yet, so I was extremely happy and grateful to have him edit it with a performance of CASTLE I shot in LA during quarantine. This was all happening as news of George Floyd broke. The song took on a whole new meaning for me watching a little girl lose her father, especially in that manner.
I’m thankful for the director being understanding, because my focus completely shifted on the protests during that time.
We have an ongoing campaign titled #BeatTheBlues – How do you take care of your mental health?
Honestly, I’m glad for the little things we’re able to do again. I'm glad to be able to take some socially distanced fitness classes, go to the beach, or on a road trip (anywhere in nature really). Combine the latter with a creative endeavor. This has been very helpful for me, personally.
2020 has been a tough year on so many levels: the pandemic, nationwide protests as people have come together to take a stand against racial injustice, loss of innocent lives mixed with loss of hope and so much sadness and grief. How have you reacted to it all? How have you coped?
20XX has been overwhelming for all of us. An ongoing submersion with little time to barely gasp for air. I feel like we haven't had time to digest all of it.
Just like everyone in the world, I’m just trying to ride the wave of my own emotions. Brokenhearted by the loss of life, angry at the racial injustice, anxious about the future and everyone's safety, but still hopeful. We have to stay hopeful and keep pushing forward.
I’ve cried, I’ve vented, and I’m still pushing for justice, still keeping positive that we survive it all. Hoping that somehow, we come out the other end stronger and with a new sense of unity as a collective.
Has it been easier or harder to concentrate on making new music in quarantine?
I never have a hard time concentrating when I make music or writing ideas under any circumstance, so quarantine hasn't been any different in that regard. But I’ve missed co-writing with people in person. I love teamwork and bouncing ideas. It helps me avoid overthinking shit. Staying in a creative mode the past few months has helped me with this, too. All we’ve had is time and for me the best way to use that time has been to focus it on music projects.
Who are your favorite female musicians, singer/songwriters? Who are the artists whose support has been priceless to you in your own journey?
Beth Gibbons, Sade, Jhene Aiko, LDR, Beyonce, Amy Winehouse, Kali Uchis, Fiona Apple are some of my favorites.
I feel like every time a woman artist pushes a boundary every other female artist benefits and strives to do more. That’s always inspiring. Visually, lyrically pushing us all forward to do more and to do better.
What music have you listened to and what books have you read these days? Any memoirs or albums by your favorite artists?
My favorite book in quarantine has been an extensive collection of Rumi’s poems. I love reading and re-reading him. Before writing music, I wrote poetry, so it’s also one of my favorite reads.
Music wise, I’ve been listening to a lot of my own friends’ new music, actually. My producer, Jim Kaufman, has sent me new stuff he’s done with different artists. One of my close friends has a new shoegaze album I really love. Her name is Lauren Lakis and the album comes out in the fall. But, yeah most of my friends are musicians and/or creatives so they always share new artists/playlists with me. And it’s all been my favorite road trip music lately.
What do you plan doing to keep in touch with your fans while live music events get postponed?
I have a lot of unreleased music. A few EPs worth actually. I’m planning to release THE VILLAIN EP in the fall. A concept ep. I guess all of them are (concept)... I’ve self-released two singles (with music videos) from VILLAIN in quarantine and I’m focusing on creating more visuals for it.
Once the EP is out I’d like to stream and or film some live performances of the songs as well. I want to put together something dope, so I’m taking my time.
Your favorite word today:
Disobedient.
Thank you! Looking forward to your EP The Villain.
How do you define the music you make? What are your own favorite songs?
Hmm, I’d say it's cinematic, moody, downtempo, trip hop with a modern spin... trip hop is one of my favorite genres from the 90s but, now done my way... a lot of night time vibes, for sure.
I don’t have favorite songs, to be honest, whatever I’m working on becomes my favorite until I finish it and then I’m on to write another.
Thanks for sharing with us one of your recent songs titled Castle. Tell us more: maybe the story behind it, how easy or difficult it has been to complete it.
I co-wrote CASTLE with Jim Kaufman, who also produced it. He had written a beautiful, melancholy piano piece years ago and when he started playing it for me the lyrics basically wrote themselves. This happened to be the day before the 3-year anniversary of my father’s passing so the song took shape about the experience of loss of a loved one. The happy memories and the sad ones, all in one.
I decided to release it as we came out of quarantine, because of this tremendous loss so many of us have experienced and have yet to deal with. I thought this would resonate, cuz it did for me. I’m surprised I managed to record vocals without crying because I do get emotional singing/hearing it sometimes.
You can see this in the video visual directed by Chris Hunt, that I recently released. We collaborated bi-coastally on the visual during quarantine. Chris had shot this beautiful footage of a ballerina a few years back that he hadn't used on a personal project yet, so I was extremely happy and grateful to have him edit it with a performance of CASTLE I shot in LA during quarantine. This was all happening as news of George Floyd broke. The song took on a whole new meaning for me watching a little girl lose her father, especially in that manner.
I’m thankful for the director being understanding, because my focus completely shifted on the protests during that time.
We have an ongoing campaign titled #BeatTheBlues – How do you take care of your mental health?
Honestly, I’m glad for the little things we’re able to do again. I'm glad to be able to take some socially distanced fitness classes, go to the beach, or on a road trip (anywhere in nature really). Combine the latter with a creative endeavor. This has been very helpful for me, personally.
2020 has been a tough year on so many levels: the pandemic, nationwide protests as people have come together to take a stand against racial injustice, loss of innocent lives mixed with loss of hope and so much sadness and grief. How have you reacted to it all? How have you coped?
20XX has been overwhelming for all of us. An ongoing submersion with little time to barely gasp for air. I feel like we haven't had time to digest all of it.
Just like everyone in the world, I’m just trying to ride the wave of my own emotions. Brokenhearted by the loss of life, angry at the racial injustice, anxious about the future and everyone's safety, but still hopeful. We have to stay hopeful and keep pushing forward.
I’ve cried, I’ve vented, and I’m still pushing for justice, still keeping positive that we survive it all. Hoping that somehow, we come out the other end stronger and with a new sense of unity as a collective.
Has it been easier or harder to concentrate on making new music in quarantine?
I never have a hard time concentrating when I make music or writing ideas under any circumstance, so quarantine hasn't been any different in that regard. But I’ve missed co-writing with people in person. I love teamwork and bouncing ideas. It helps me avoid overthinking shit. Staying in a creative mode the past few months has helped me with this, too. All we’ve had is time and for me the best way to use that time has been to focus it on music projects.
Who are your favorite female musicians, singer/songwriters? Who are the artists whose support has been priceless to you in your own journey?
Beth Gibbons, Sade, Jhene Aiko, LDR, Beyonce, Amy Winehouse, Kali Uchis, Fiona Apple are some of my favorites.
I feel like every time a woman artist pushes a boundary every other female artist benefits and strives to do more. That’s always inspiring. Visually, lyrically pushing us all forward to do more and to do better.
What music have you listened to and what books have you read these days? Any memoirs or albums by your favorite artists?
My favorite book in quarantine has been an extensive collection of Rumi’s poems. I love reading and re-reading him. Before writing music, I wrote poetry, so it’s also one of my favorite reads.
Music wise, I’ve been listening to a lot of my own friends’ new music, actually. My producer, Jim Kaufman, has sent me new stuff he’s done with different artists. One of my close friends has a new shoegaze album I really love. Her name is Lauren Lakis and the album comes out in the fall. But, yeah most of my friends are musicians and/or creatives so they always share new artists/playlists with me. And it’s all been my favorite road trip music lately.
What do you plan doing to keep in touch with your fans while live music events get postponed?
I have a lot of unreleased music. A few EPs worth actually. I’m planning to release THE VILLAIN EP in the fall. A concept ep. I guess all of them are (concept)... I’ve self-released two singles (with music videos) from VILLAIN in quarantine and I’m focusing on creating more visuals for it.
Once the EP is out I’d like to stream and or film some live performances of the songs as well. I want to put together something dope, so I’m taking my time.
Your favorite word today:
Disobedient.
Thank you! Looking forward to your EP The Villain.